Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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