I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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