Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
