the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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