i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
