Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
