you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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