We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
