I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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