What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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