i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
