i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
