I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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