just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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