youre lurking in front of me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
