Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
