I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
