I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
