Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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