Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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