We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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