white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
