my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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