yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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