at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
