I got chris browned last night
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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