pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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