While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
