I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize