There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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