I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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