My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
