Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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