the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
