I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
