In the future we'll all be gay
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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