yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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