oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
