it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
