He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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