Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
