i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
