i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
