yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
