I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
