For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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