I cannot find my penis.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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