i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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