He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
