I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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