I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
FUCK WHALES
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