so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
