Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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