Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
