I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't turn off my feet"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
