Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
