What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
