i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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