sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
