I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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