Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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