I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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