thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
