Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize