Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
