"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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