And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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