in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
