drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
