I don't think brook has ever known best
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
These tits shall not be calmed
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
