Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
