he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I smell stomach acid.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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