Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
