Duck Duck Cougar?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
should my penis look like a turkey
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
