Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
