Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
