Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize