can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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