So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize