Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize