I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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