Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
