I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
