I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
