He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize