in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
