I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
